Spit or Swallow

First, let me remind you that this is a winery blog and that you did not stumble onto a page for inquisitive college students. I am referring to an element of wine etiquette that makes it okay to spit out wine after tasting it.

One thing I love about wine is that it is perfectly good behavior to engage in table manners your mother would have found reprehensible. For instance, while tasting, it’s okay to
1. play with your wine: You can lift your glass up to the ceiling lights, you can swirl the liquid around, and you can watch it drip down the side of your glass.
2. make obnoxious noises: You can stick your nose in your glass and sniff loudly. You may also slurp audibly once the wine is in your mouth. In fact, you can talk with your mouth full (sort of) by raising your eyebrows and making approving sounds like “Mmmmm, MmmHmmm!”
3. finally, after all that, you can spit the wine out. However, it would be poor form if you did so on your hostess’ carpet.

Spitting out perfectly good wine seems like a crime to most people. Yet there are many reasons to avoid the consumption of alcohol in the moment. For instance, you may be
1. visiting 10 wineries in a day.
2. the designated driver (In wine country the CHP often says, “Come on vacation, leave on probation!”)
3. pregnant
4. a wine writer, critic, or professional wine judge (Alcohol notoriously clouds judgment. I’m sure you can think of a personal example).
5. a winemaker. (Yes, I spit in the winery. One bad move can ruin a lot of valuable wine!)

Although acceptable practice, spitting is rarely done in our tasting room. Most folks either feel awkward doing so, or just want the full benefit of the tasting experience. (As an aside, it is my opinion those who spit may miss out on the full evaluation of a wine’s bitterness or alcohol level).

We may see one “spitter” every two weeks or so. I’ve seen two extremes in technique in my years behind a tasting bar. On one end, there is the “Dump Bucket Hog” who literally hugs the bucket during their entire stay and won’t share it with anyone. The upside to this person is they rarely miss. The other extreme is the person who brings his or her own cup (or asks for one) and discreetly turns around before expelling. At the end of the tasting, the contents of the cup are dispensed into the dump bucket. I prefer this more tasteful practice but I would advise you not to startle this person or bump into their container.

In closing, feel free to exercise your right play with, slurp and spit out wine. It is one of the few guilty, yet appropriate pleasures in life. You may want to practice spitting water at home first. It’s hard to be cool when red wine drools over your chin and gets slobbered onto your shirt. Not only unsightly, but you’re guaranteed a field sobriety test should you be caught in a routine traffic stop.