Overheard In The Tasting Room
OVERHEARD IN THE TASTING ROOM
|“Instead of Gewürztraminer, this one should be called Ge-BEST-traminer!””
This wine makes me very patriotic. Now my eyes are red, white, and blue.”
“I thought having an addictive personality meant people became addicted to me.”
-one taster’s narcissistic view on living life without restraint.
“Don’t over think it, just drink it!”
“The only problem with jacuzzi-ing in the rain is that it dilutes my wine.”
“I swear if you prick my arm I’ll bleed Moonstone.”
– A big fan
Caller: “Does your winery offer overnight lodging”?
Moonstone Vinoista: “Nope. Unless you pass out in the tasting room. Then we can provide you a cot in the back until you sober up.”
“To get rid of hiccups just swallow a tablespoon of sugar…or you could stop drinking so much.”
“Would you like another taste?” Taster: “Why not? I was suppose to leave here an hour ago.”
(A cell phone rings, a taster answers) “Hello, I’m out drinking, this better be important.”
“These aerators can make a Two-Buck Chuck taste almost like a four dollar wine!”
“We tried to make wine at home once. We called it ‘Thompson Tasteless.”
“Wine de-dramatizes life.”
“Wine tasting on a Sunday is just like going to church. You introduce yourself to the person on your left and on your right. Then you have a cracker and a sip of wine.”
“I drink white wine in the afternoons. Sure, I like beer, but not dark beer. The beer my husband drinks in blacker than my heart.”
“We’ll do a quick tasting, the kids are next door. We’d bring them in, but they are such a buzz kill. Maybe you could put them somewhere for us. Somewhere with air holes, it’s not like I’m a bad dad.”
“I love tasting over here on the coast. It’s where yeast meets west.”
1st taster: “What are you doing on the Fourth?”
2nd taster: “Drinking a fifth.”
1st taster: “Be careful!”
2nd taster: “Don’t worry, I won’t spill a drop.”
“We like oak in our furniture not our wine.”
-A stainless steel chardonnay customer.
“Yes, I’m aware there are sober children in China.”
– A taster’s response to her horrified parents when she discarded a few drops of wine into the dump bucket.
“Been there done that, bought the liver transplant.”
-Oz Barron (in response to the winemaker’s hangover disclaimer)
“We are strangers but once.”
“Thank you for the lunch!”
– By four fun females who made a meal of wine tasting and breadsticks.
“So when do you guys start your treatment program?”
– A concerned father to his adult kids at a family outing at Moonstone Cellars
“A dirty, stinky, patio-pounder.”
-No, they weren’t describing a Moonstone wine.
“Go ahead and knock boxed wine if you want, but…uh, no, go ahead and knock it.”
““I took a bottle of the new Viognier to a restaurant that charged corkage. And I said, ‘but it has a screwcap!’ So I asked them if they were going to charge me for screwage.””
Mother to daughter standing outside: “We’ll go to breakfast in a minute, daddy is busy drinking.””
1st Guest: “I went quite a while without drinking wine everyday.”
2nd Guest: “Why? Were you sick?””
(as guests entered with their traveling coffee mugs this morning) Todd: Could we add some wine to that coffee? Guest: Nah, that would be weird with the whiskey that’s already in there.”
“My husband went to a bar so I could shop. He doesn’t know I’m shopping for more wine. “
“I’m committed to one woman, so I have to get my variety from wine.”
“I stopped using paper plates. The dishwasher was messing them up.”
(A senior citizen, reluctant to taste) “Will these 3 sips effect my driving? Cause I’m already a bad driver.”
“My favorite red is Merlot. I like Cab, too, but I find there’s not enough Merlot in it”
Us: “Would you like to revisit a wine”?
Taster: “Nope, time to put a plug in the jug”.
(While watching Todd ceremoniously open a screw cap down his arm with a flourish)
Taster: “If I did that, I would probably slit my wrists.”
Girlfriend: “Yep, but I’ll tell the ER you’re not suicidal, just a drunk”.