Overheard In The Tasting Room
OVERHEARD IN THE TASTING ROOM
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| “Instead of Gewürztraminer, this one should be called Ge-BEST-traminer!”” This wine makes me very patriotic. Now my eyes are red, white, and blue.” “I thought having an addictive personality meant people became addicted to me.” -one taster’s narcissistic view on living life without restraint. “Don’t over think it, just drink it!” “The only problem with jacuzzi-ing in the rain is that it dilutes my wine.” “I swear if you prick my arm I’ll bleed Moonstone.” - A big fan Caller: “Does your winery offer overnight lodging”? Moonstone Vinoista: “Nope. Unless you pass out in the tasting room. Then we can provide you a cot in the back until you sober up.” “To get rid of hiccups just swallow a tablespoon of sugar…or you could stop drinking so much.” “Would you like another taste?” Taster: “Why not? I was suppose to leave here an hour ago.” (A cell phone rings, a taster answers) “Hello, I’m out drinking, this better be important.” “These aerators can make a Two-Buck Chuck taste almost like a four dollar wine!” “We tried to make wine at home once. We called it ‘Thompson Tasteless.” “Wine de-dramatizes life.” “Wine tasting on a Sunday is just like going to church. You introduce yourself to the person on your left and on your right. Then you have a cracker and a sip of wine.” “I drink white wine in the afternoons. Sure, I like beer, but not dark beer. The beer my husband drinks in blacker than my heart.” “We’ll do a quick tasting, the kids are next door. We’d bring them in, but they are such a buzz kill. Maybe you could put them somewhere for us. Somewhere with air holes, it’s not like I’m a bad dad.” “I love tasting over here on the coast. It’s where yeast meets west.” 1st taster: “What are you doing on the Fourth?” 2nd taster: “Drinking a fifth.” 1st taster: “Be careful!” 2nd taster: “Don’t worry, I won’t spill a drop.” “We like oak in our furniture not our wine.” -A stainless steel chardonnay customer. “Yes, I’m aware there are sober children in China.” - A taster’s response to her horrified parents when she discarded a few drops of wine into the dump bucket. “Been there done that, bought the liver transplant.” -Oz Barron (in response to the winemaker’s hangover disclaimer) “We are strangers but once.” -Joey T. “Thank you for the lunch!” - By four fun females who made a meal of wine tasting and breadsticks. “So when do you guys start your treatment program?” - A concerned father to his adult kids at a family outing at Moonstone Cellars “A dirty, stinky, patio-pounder.” -No, they weren’t describing a Moonstone wine. “Go ahead and knock boxed wine if you want, but…uh, no, go ahead and knock it.” ““I took a bottle of the new Viognier to a restaurant that charged corkage. And I said, ‘but it has a screwcap!’ So I asked them if they were going to charge me for screwage.”” Mother to daughter standing outside: “We’ll go to breakfast in a minute, daddy is busy drinking.”” 1st Guest: “I went quite a while without drinking wine everyday.” 2nd Guest: “Why? Were you sick?”” (as guests entered with their traveling coffee mugs this morning) Todd: Could we add some wine to that coffee? Guest: Nah, that would be weird with the whiskey that’s already in there.” “My husband went to a bar so I could shop. He doesn’t know I’m shopping for more wine. “ “I’m committed to one woman, so I have to get my variety from wine.” “I stopped using paper plates. The dishwasher was messing them up.” (A senior citizen, reluctant to taste) “Will these 3 sips effect my driving? Cause I’m already a bad driver.” “My favorite red is Merlot. I like Cab, too, but I find there’s not enough Merlot in it” Us: “Would you like to revisit a wine”? Taster: “Nope, time to put a plug in the jug”. (While watching Todd ceremoniously open a screw cap down his arm with a flourish) Taster: “If I did that, I would probably slit my wrists.” Girlfriend: “Yep, but I’ll tell the ER you’re not suicidal, just a drunk”. |
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